The first week of school always offers many opportunities for incoming freshman. Campus tours, social activities, and, at least at Weber State, a campus absolutely littered with booths representing clubs and local businesses anxiously awaiting the opportunity to take away our time and money.
The banks that were present all seemed to have the same strategy to rope us in. “Do you guys like free money?” Um, ya. “Well then you need to get a credit card!” Apparently they’re the same thing.
The Gay-Straight Alliance had a very well decorated booth. By the looks of their representatives at the booth “Gay-Straight Alliance” is codename for “The Gay Club.” Seriously, I don’t think there is a single straight person in that organization. I think by now most Americans are accepting of gays and want them to feel welcome in society, but still, for me to join the Gay Club would be like me joining “Single Mothers United.” I wish single mothers well, but gathering every Thursday to listen to a bunch of women talk about breast-feeding and complain about men isn’t necassarily my idea of getting “involved.”
The Bible Club had a pretty convincing advertising strategy. They had this scholarly looking guy and an unbelievably pretty girl running their booth. “We’re putting on a Bible study, you should come!” I thought, “Ok; learn from the scholar, hit on the girl, sounds good to me.” But much to my amazement when I showed up to the Bible study the scholarly looking guy and the unbelievably pretty girl had morphed into one scholarly looking girl. (“Scholarly” in this case meaning “Unattractive”) It was incredible! (Or as the Bible would say, “it was a miracle!”) Needless to say, I’ve never attended Bible study since.
So did I end up joining any clubs? Nope. But I do have a “free money” card in my wallet, which will come in handy because I don’t have a job.
This post was origianally written August 2010
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