Puppet Love

I dated a puppet once. She was a string puppet. The first time I saw her she was sitting on a park bench crying because her last boyfriend had dumped her for one of those slutty puppets where you put your hand in it’s back.

She had a good heart. She spent most of her time volunteering down at the shelter teaching shadow puppets new designs. Her dream was for every underprivileged shadow puppet to learn that it could be more than a bunny, that if it worked as hard as it could it could be anything it wanted. Even a falcon or a squid!

But she had her own obstacles to overcome. As I mentioned before she was held up by strings. We did fun things together, sure, but we could never do some things that normal couples could do. Things like bouncing in a gravitation free room. It might have been fun for a while, but eventually one of her arm strings would wrap around one of her leg strings, and you know how hard it is to untangle those strings, it’s dang near impossible. I would have had to put her out of her misery, which is not something I would want to do to my dog let alone my girlfriend.