Volcanoes, Death and Mediocre Professors

As this current semester rolled around I really needed to take another science class to finish off my associates degree.  Science has never been my stronghold.  The only thing I ever understood about science was volcanos and that was just because I made one out of clay every single year.  Because of that I am now an expert on volcanos.  For example I know that to make a volcano erupt God pours the perfect combination of baking soda and vinegar into the hole at the top of the volcano, a hole which exists because God stuck his finger in the top when the earth was still moldable.  When the volcano juice (as it’s known in the science community) spills out of the top of a volcano it usually comes out way faster than anyone expected and gets all over the table and spills on somebody’s pants leaving a sour smelling stain in their greater crotch area.  That person will then spend the rest of the day trying to convince others that they did not pee their pants.

My clay volcanos never failed to get me a good science grade until that fateful day in 10^th grade biology when I tried to turn another volcano in as my final project.  My teacher was one of those obnoxious young teachers that thought his efforts in the classroom were going to inspire us to accomplish great things in life.  He put his heart and soul all semester into trying to help us to appreciate the wonders of living organisms, to realize the beauty of a blood-flow system, to grasp the majesty and magnitude of a cell.  Boy was he disappointed when I turned in a clay volcano for my final project.  I had a friend who took the same class the next year.  He said all they did was watch videos.

Knowing science was going to be a major hurdle I spent four hours on ratemyprofessors.com trying to find the easiest professor I could.  I kept reading reviews that would say things like

“This professor is excellent! He makes you earn your grade but he is worth it!” 

“Best professor ever! I grew so much in his class!  He made us work really hard but I grew a lot!” 

I don’t need any crap like that.  My attitude toward college is “just give me my freakin’ credit and let me get out of here.”  Finally after literally 4 hours of searching I found a review that said

“This professor is boring as snot but it’s an easy A.” 

Perfect!  Sign me up!

I registered for that professor’s class without even knowing what the subject was.  I didn’t care.  Supposedly it was the easiest way out and I was sticking with it.  It did say on my schedule that the abbreviation for the class was GEO so I just assumed it was a geology class.  For the first three class periods the professor kept talking about maps and elevations and climate regions.  I kept thinking “This is geology class, when are we going to get to the rocks?”  I was talking with a friend about it and she suggested that perhaps it was a geography class instead of a geology class.  Intrigued by the possibility I whipped out my syllabus and sure enough Geography 1010 written in bolded lettering right at the top.

I guess if I can’t even figure out what class I am in I should be in the easiest class possible.  I just really hope nobody figures out where that sour smelling stain on my pants came from.